Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
