It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
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