Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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