He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
