thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
