You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Randomize
