i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
