you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
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