Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Randomize
