did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
