I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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