I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
