In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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