She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
