It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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