I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
