there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
