Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
