hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
