sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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