i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
