come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
