so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
