I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
her vagine was all disorganized.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
So many bounce houses so little time
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
