Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
