I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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