I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
