Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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