All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
