shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
