Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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