we made out on top of his cat.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize