If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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