no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
There are leaves in my underwear?
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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