Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize