I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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