Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Randomize