Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
