been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
