I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
