I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
