I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
i think i just lost a toe
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize