Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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