theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
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