piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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