you guys were way drunker than both of me
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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