SEEEEXXX PLEASE
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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