break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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