Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
