I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Randomize
