Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
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