I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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