You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
