I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
