Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
