how hairy? two words: wookie tits
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
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