Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
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