I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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