with your own penis?
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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