dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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