Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
