her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize