i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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