it wasn't lemon gatorade
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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