hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
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