Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
what the fuck happened to the tacos
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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