Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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