i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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