so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
