By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
im holly from the hills drunk
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
where are you?
Hypothermia
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Randomize
