hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Randomize
