there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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